A: I need a clear structure, job description, so that I can maximize my function.
B: He is not flexible. Too rigid.
A: I need a clear position, maybe a publication following that, so its clear for everyone.
B: I think he is an ambitious person. Too high self-respect.
A: If it is not within my responsibility, I don't want to give any influence. I have to know my limit and I have to respect others'.
B: He is either too laze or arogant, that why he doesn't want to help.
A: We need to follow the structure as a pattern of communication line and orders.
B: Too complicated. It would be easier and faster if anyone can talk to anyone.
A: I'll report the important matters to you, and handle trivial matters by myself.
B: If I heard it from someone else, it becomes important matters to me no matter what it is.
A: Please tell me what you want, so that I don't get it wrongly.
B: I was waiting for you to understand what I want, but you failed.
A: What do you think about this matter?
B: What do you think? What? No, wrong... I think.....
A: I admit that I have several weaknesses....
B: It is because you are man.
Sigh...
Senin, 23 Februari 2009
Alone in the Dark
It is just a phrase. Not literally live in the black-out area like when the electricity down. But the “alone” part is true. I’m talking about my life few weeks ago, when my wife went away to out of town for 3 days. Yup… just me and my boy. Can’t you imagine how nasty it will be? No one else to count on, just me.
I made some comparison, check it out:
My Normal days
- Wake up at 6.45, take a bath, bath my boy, breakfast
- Left home at 7.15, bring Vinn to Baby Day Care, go to work
- Left office at 16.30 (depend on the work load), go home
- Relaxing at home, dinner, starting at 18.00 – sometimes 23.00
Those three days
- Wake up at 5.00, prepare Vinn’s hot water, prepare the breakfast, take a bath
- Wake Vinn up at 6.00, bath him, put some nappy and clothes on him, breakfast together with Vinn, put down all the lights, lock all the door,
- Left home at 7.00, bring Vinn to Baby Day Care, go to work
- Left office exactly at 16.00, pick Vinn up from Baby Day Care, go to my mom’s
- Pick up our dinner from my mom, and go home
- Arrive home at 17.00, get change, prepare dinner, take 30 minutes rest
- Dinner with Vinn at 18.00, watch movies, play with Vinn
- At 20.00 Vinn sleeps already, I have 1-2 hours relax time, sleep at 22.00
What do you think? Pretty tight schedule, heh? I don’t even believe I manage to pass those three days. Few things I learned from this loneness:
- My wife is a wonderful wife and I can’t live without her. I can’t image being a single parent for a longer period.
- How effective a person can be when the environment force him/her. The proof is the schedule above. Amazing.
- People around me are care about me and willing to help.
- What a lovely boy Vinn is (2 of 3 days, he slept in my lap when we were watching movies, so cute)
I made some comparison, check it out:
My Normal days
- Wake up at 6.45, take a bath, bath my boy, breakfast
- Left home at 7.15, bring Vinn to Baby Day Care, go to work
- Left office at 16.30 (depend on the work load), go home
- Relaxing at home, dinner, starting at 18.00 – sometimes 23.00
Those three days
- Wake up at 5.00, prepare Vinn’s hot water, prepare the breakfast, take a bath
- Wake Vinn up at 6.00, bath him, put some nappy and clothes on him, breakfast together with Vinn, put down all the lights, lock all the door,
- Left home at 7.00, bring Vinn to Baby Day Care, go to work
- Left office exactly at 16.00, pick Vinn up from Baby Day Care, go to my mom’s
- Pick up our dinner from my mom, and go home
- Arrive home at 17.00, get change, prepare dinner, take 30 minutes rest
- Dinner with Vinn at 18.00, watch movies, play with Vinn
- At 20.00 Vinn sleeps already, I have 1-2 hours relax time, sleep at 22.00
What do you think? Pretty tight schedule, heh? I don’t even believe I manage to pass those three days. Few things I learned from this loneness:
- My wife is a wonderful wife and I can’t live without her. I can’t image being a single parent for a longer period.
- How effective a person can be when the environment force him/her. The proof is the schedule above. Amazing.
- People around me are care about me and willing to help.
- What a lovely boy Vinn is (2 of 3 days, he slept in my lap when we were watching movies, so cute)
Jumat, 06 Februari 2009
Focus on the "X"
Alternatives for “X”:
X = Target / Goal
Focusing on target / goal means we aim for a bigger picture. Do any tasks we have while maintaining the line toward our destination. Without goal, we might lost within the maze of life we encounter every day, trapped between our routines and “boring” daily activities.
The first step is to determine the goal, it has to be a SMART one. SMART is an abbreviation of Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reasonable, and Time bound. Specific goal means that you can explain the goal in detail. Having a too broad goal makes us difficult to describe, even more to achieve. Measurable means that we can measure how far we have walk toward the goal. Attainable avoid us from being desperate and tired, because we know that our goal can be attained. Reasonable is the reasoning behind the goal. If our goal is to be a rich, we need to be able to explain why that goal is important to us. The last one (time bound) speaks about the length of time needed to achieve that goal. It can be days, months, or even years.
Being said so... it is not as easy to set a goal as it seem. Based on my own experience, I often 'lost in translation'.... taken away from my goal by the daily busy-ness, or even forget about the goal in the first place.
In HRD, I face many interpersonal problems almost everyday: complain about the supervisor, complain about the subordinates, complain about the rules, quarrel among employees, and so on. These peripheral things often cause us loose our focus in maintaining the good HR System. The disappointment we hear most every day potentially become our disappointment and in the end, it just makes us want to quit. Every now and then we shout within ourselves “Thats it!! I quit!”.
The only thing that can help us if those situations happen is remembering the main goal again. Focus on the target. What is your target?
X = Nothing
Yup.. sounds weird, rite? Focus on the nothing?? come on....
What I mean here is to be open toward any possibilities. Our focus sometimes represents our interest, our passion, our expectation. By focusing on nothing, we can avoid from being over dependent toward others.
My job is also dealing with recruitment and selection for employee candidates. We were recently looking for a certain position because the person who hold that position before would like to resign. We started sorting out some applications. In the process, we found one good candidate, we were focusing on him and try to pursue him. After some steps in the process it turned out that we couldn't get an agreement with that candidate. Ouchh.... we had to find another one and start from zero again. The second candidate we pursued also end by not having an agreement about the work schedule. We had to find the third from zero again.
I learn from this experience: if from the beginning we pursue 3 of them simultaneously, we would get a certainty from the candidates faster. We could save some time, even though we spent a bit more effort. The point I'm trying to make is don't rely on one solution only, open your mind and heart for other possibilities, so that we can be flexible in deciding which is the best answer for our questions.
X = Cross
In Christianity, cross is the symbol of our GOD. Focusing on GOD means putting our trust unto HIM and surrender everything for HIS glory. I know it is sounds very spiritual... but the facts I face in the reality often slap my face and awake me from my dream of ignorance.
There are times in my life when I depend myself on others, including friends, families, colleagues, supervisors, my staff, etc. At those times, I often depend myself too much up to the point where I forget to depend myself even more to GOD. And the sad story afterward is a disappointment. Yup... lots of disappointment. I remember one time I expect my friends to support my decision in front of others, but in the end they blame me for the decision and acknowledge their own decision as the best one. Ugh!! Another time I was discussing with a colleague for certain cases. But later on, I found out that she accused me of saying something that I didn't to my supervisor.
By focusing on the cross, I can avoid being disappointed toward other people, because I would have a greater focus on the reason why I need to be disappointed.... I know it sounds odd to some people... but it is make sense to me.
X = Target / Goal
Focusing on target / goal means we aim for a bigger picture. Do any tasks we have while maintaining the line toward our destination. Without goal, we might lost within the maze of life we encounter every day, trapped between our routines and “boring” daily activities.
The first step is to determine the goal, it has to be a SMART one. SMART is an abbreviation of Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reasonable, and Time bound. Specific goal means that you can explain the goal in detail. Having a too broad goal makes us difficult to describe, even more to achieve. Measurable means that we can measure how far we have walk toward the goal. Attainable avoid us from being desperate and tired, because we know that our goal can be attained. Reasonable is the reasoning behind the goal. If our goal is to be a rich, we need to be able to explain why that goal is important to us. The last one (time bound) speaks about the length of time needed to achieve that goal. It can be days, months, or even years.
Being said so... it is not as easy to set a goal as it seem. Based on my own experience, I often 'lost in translation'.... taken away from my goal by the daily busy-ness, or even forget about the goal in the first place.
In HRD, I face many interpersonal problems almost everyday: complain about the supervisor, complain about the subordinates, complain about the rules, quarrel among employees, and so on. These peripheral things often cause us loose our focus in maintaining the good HR System. The disappointment we hear most every day potentially become our disappointment and in the end, it just makes us want to quit. Every now and then we shout within ourselves “Thats it!! I quit!”.
The only thing that can help us if those situations happen is remembering the main goal again. Focus on the target. What is your target?
X = Nothing
Yup.. sounds weird, rite? Focus on the nothing?? come on....
What I mean here is to be open toward any possibilities. Our focus sometimes represents our interest, our passion, our expectation. By focusing on nothing, we can avoid from being over dependent toward others.
My job is also dealing with recruitment and selection for employee candidates. We were recently looking for a certain position because the person who hold that position before would like to resign. We started sorting out some applications. In the process, we found one good candidate, we were focusing on him and try to pursue him. After some steps in the process it turned out that we couldn't get an agreement with that candidate. Ouchh.... we had to find another one and start from zero again. The second candidate we pursued also end by not having an agreement about the work schedule. We had to find the third from zero again.
I learn from this experience: if from the beginning we pursue 3 of them simultaneously, we would get a certainty from the candidates faster. We could save some time, even though we spent a bit more effort. The point I'm trying to make is don't rely on one solution only, open your mind and heart for other possibilities, so that we can be flexible in deciding which is the best answer for our questions.
X = Cross
In Christianity, cross is the symbol of our GOD. Focusing on GOD means putting our trust unto HIM and surrender everything for HIS glory. I know it is sounds very spiritual... but the facts I face in the reality often slap my face and awake me from my dream of ignorance.
There are times in my life when I depend myself on others, including friends, families, colleagues, supervisors, my staff, etc. At those times, I often depend myself too much up to the point where I forget to depend myself even more to GOD. And the sad story afterward is a disappointment. Yup... lots of disappointment. I remember one time I expect my friends to support my decision in front of others, but in the end they blame me for the decision and acknowledge their own decision as the best one. Ugh!! Another time I was discussing with a colleague for certain cases. But later on, I found out that she accused me of saying something that I didn't to my supervisor.
By focusing on the cross, I can avoid being disappointed toward other people, because I would have a greater focus on the reason why I need to be disappointed.... I know it sounds odd to some people... but it is make sense to me.
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