Rabu, 30 September 2009

The Power of Listening

I recently read a book titled: Growing Great Employees by Erika Andersen. It is actually the first -english text- book I read from cover to cover aside from some text books I read during my study. Sad? yes... reading has never been a hobby of mine, I prefer watching, listening, or discussing.

One of the things I learned from the book is the listening skills. It seems like a simple skill. I believe almost everybody can do it, but none willing to... just like the CHORUS in the song lyric by Acappella group:

CHORUS:
Everybody said that anybody could do
The important things somebody should do
Everybody knows that anybody could do
All the good things that nobody did

Why listening is important?
- It helps us to collect more information, including some information related with their feeling and emotional status. More information helps us to consider more alternative answers or solutions.
- It gives us more time to think about our responses. A timely and precise response will save you lots of time and energy in dealing with problems.
- It calms us down from our emotional feeling and those we listen to. With a "cool head", we then can make some positive and progressive discussions.
- Listening itself can be the solution. Some people don't need an answer, they just need ears to listen their complains.

Some notes about listening:
- Eye contact: keep your eye contact with the one you listen to. It shows them that you are focusing your whole attention to them.
- Ask curiosity-based questions: it can also called "active listening". Listening is not a passive task where we just sit and listen, but we need to be active in asking questions, which can encourage the speaker to speak even more. E.g.: "and then?", "really?", "why is that?", etc.
- Restating: Once you got an important point from the speaker, it is good to restate it, so that you can guarantee that both of you have the same perspective regarding the matter.

Happy Listening Practices!

Minggu, 16 Agustus 2009

Menghitung Hari

This is a very nice poem I quote from one of my heroes, my teacher from Junior High School:

Menghitung Hari
oleh: Wattimena G.
170809


Jelang 1945
Perjuangan dan pengorbanan mendamba cinta sejatiku
Mengikis habis sudut-sudut relung hati ini, mengalir...
Terbawa arus kepahlawanan
Satu kali kupukul jatuh tersungkur
Terkulai, patah, putus hilang ditelan bumi pertiwi

Jelang 1965
Yang tinggal hanya sisa sinar lembayung lesu di senja temaram
Yang jatuh... satu, satu menyentuh tebing pipih
Yang selalu berteriak sendu, namun lama tak berjawab

Jelang 1998
Di sela katub bibir yang membara
Cinta Tuhan datang menyapa
Mengisi pelangi hidup dalam badai

Jelang 2009
Di pagi 1708 ini
Aku merintih dalam gelisah
Sulit 'tuk membedakan
Siapa perawat dunia Indonesia
Siapa perusak kekayaan Indonesia
Semua benda semata hiasan
Semua cerita semata hiburan

Seonggok duka wajah mentari tergambar di ufuk sana
Sinar emasnya seakan bertanya
Apa kata si empunya cerita
Bila musafir kelana datang bertandang?
Hening...
Ku tengadah menghitung hariku di keheningan itu!
23360 telah aku jelang
Bersama kabut mendung di setiap derita
Bersama gita indah di setiap helaan nafas
Bersama senyum di setiap air mata
Bersama berkat di setiap cobaan, dan
Bersama jawaban di setiap doa

Rabu, 17 Juni 2009

Nice lessons from forwarded email

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs..
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.


Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.


Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.' Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5


A turkey was chatting with a bull... 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.' The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough str ength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..


Lesson 6


A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Senin, 23 Februari 2009

Different Perspectives

A: I need a clear structure, job description, so that I can maximize my function.
B: He is not flexible. Too rigid.

A: I need a clear position, maybe a publication following that, so its clear for everyone.
B: I think he is an ambitious person. Too high self-respect.

A: If it is not within my responsibility, I don't want to give any influence. I have to know my limit and I have to respect others'.
B: He is either too laze or arogant, that why he doesn't want to help.

A: We need to follow the structure as a pattern of communication line and orders.
B: Too complicated. It would be easier and faster if anyone can talk to anyone.

A: I'll report the important matters to you, and handle trivial matters by myself.
B: If I heard it from someone else, it becomes important matters to me no matter what it is.

A: Please tell me what you want, so that I don't get it wrongly.
B: I was waiting for you to understand what I want, but you failed.

A: What do you think about this matter?
B: What do you think? What? No, wrong... I think.....

A: I admit that I have several weaknesses....
B: It is because you are man.

Sigh...

Alone in the Dark

It is just a phrase. Not literally live in the black-out area like when the electricity down. But the “alone” part is true. I’m talking about my life few weeks ago, when my wife went away to out of town for 3 days. Yup… just me and my boy. Can’t you imagine how nasty it will be? No one else to count on, just me.

I made some comparison, check it out:
My Normal days
- Wake up at 6.45, take a bath, bath my boy, breakfast
- Left home at 7.15, bring Vinn to Baby Day Care, go to work
- Left office at 16.30 (depend on the work load), go home
- Relaxing at home, dinner, starting at 18.00 – sometimes 23.00
Those three days
- Wake up at 5.00, prepare Vinn’s hot water, prepare the breakfast, take a bath
- Wake Vinn up at 6.00, bath him, put some nappy and clothes on him, breakfast together with Vinn, put down all the lights, lock all the door,
- Left home at 7.00, bring Vinn to Baby Day Care, go to work
- Left office exactly at 16.00, pick Vinn up from Baby Day Care, go to my mom’s
- Pick up our dinner from my mom, and go home
- Arrive home at 17.00, get change, prepare dinner, take 30 minutes rest
- Dinner with Vinn at 18.00, watch movies, play with Vinn
- At 20.00 Vinn sleeps already, I have 1-2 hours relax time, sleep at 22.00

What do you think? Pretty tight schedule, heh? I don’t even believe I manage to pass those three days. Few things I learned from this loneness:
- My wife is a wonderful wife and I can’t live without her. I can’t image being a single parent for a longer period.
- How effective a person can be when the environment force him/her. The proof is the schedule above. Amazing.
- People around me are care about me and willing to help.
- What a lovely boy Vinn is (2 of 3 days, he slept in my lap when we were watching movies, so cute)

Jumat, 06 Februari 2009

Focus on the "X"

Alternatives for “X”:
X = Target / Goal
Focusing on target / goal means we aim for a bigger picture. Do any tasks we have while maintaining the line toward our destination. Without goal, we might lost within the maze of life we encounter every day, trapped between our routines and “boring” daily activities.

The first step is to determine the goal, it has to be a SMART one. SMART is an abbreviation of Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Reasonable, and Time bound. Specific goal means that you can explain the goal in detail. Having a too broad goal makes us difficult to describe, even more to achieve. Measurable means that we can measure how far we have walk toward the goal. Attainable avoid us from being desperate and tired, because we know that our goal can be attained. Reasonable is the reasoning behind the goal. If our goal is to be a rich, we need to be able to explain why that goal is important to us. The last one (time bound) speaks about the length of time needed to achieve that goal. It can be days, months, or even years.

Being said so... it is not as easy to set a goal as it seem. Based on my own experience, I often 'lost in translation'.... taken away from my goal by the daily busy-ness, or even forget about the goal in the first place.

In HRD, I face many interpersonal problems almost everyday: complain about the supervisor, complain about the subordinates, complain about the rules, quarrel among employees, and so on. These peripheral things often cause us loose our focus in maintaining the good HR System. The disappointment we hear most every day potentially become our disappointment and in the end, it just makes us want to quit. Every now and then we shout within ourselves “Thats it!! I quit!”.

The only thing that can help us if those situations happen is remembering the main goal again. Focus on the target. What is your target?

X = Nothing
Yup.. sounds weird, rite? Focus on the nothing?? come on....
What I mean here is to be open toward any possibilities. Our focus sometimes represents our interest, our passion, our expectation. By focusing on nothing, we can avoid from being over dependent toward others.

My job is also dealing with recruitment and selection for employee candidates. We were recently looking for a certain position because the person who hold that position before would like to resign. We started sorting out some applications. In the process, we found one good candidate, we were focusing on him and try to pursue him. After some steps in the process it turned out that we couldn't get an agreement with that candidate. Ouchh.... we had to find another one and start from zero again. The second candidate we pursued also end by not having an agreement about the work schedule. We had to find the third from zero again.

I learn from this experience: if from the beginning we pursue 3 of them simultaneously, we would get a certainty from the candidates faster. We could save some time, even though we spent a bit more effort. The point I'm trying to make is don't rely on one solution only, open your mind and heart for other possibilities, so that we can be flexible in deciding which is the best answer for our questions.

X = Cross
In Christianity, cross is the symbol of our GOD. Focusing on GOD means putting our trust unto HIM and surrender everything for HIS glory. I know it is sounds very spiritual... but the facts I face in the reality often slap my face and awake me from my dream of ignorance.

There are times in my life when I depend myself on others, including friends, families, colleagues, supervisors, my staff, etc. At those times, I often depend myself too much up to the point where I forget to depend myself even more to GOD. And the sad story afterward is a disappointment. Yup... lots of disappointment. I remember one time I expect my friends to support my decision in front of others, but in the end they blame me for the decision and acknowledge their own decision as the best one. Ugh!! Another time I was discussing with a colleague for certain cases. But later on, I found out that she accused me of saying something that I didn't to my supervisor.

By focusing on the cross, I can avoid being disappointed toward other people, because I would have a greater focus on the reason why I need to be disappointed.... I know it sounds odd to some people... but it is make sense to me.

Jumat, 16 Januari 2009

"mangkir"

Journal Entry 160109

It is a word I learned since about two (2) years ago, meaning “leaving your job and responsibility without any notice to anyone”. It is a very selfish action, because he/she basically leave their tasks without any communication to the person who will continue those tasks. The later will often face difficulties because usually they don't know what has been done previously.

I learned this word from the experience in dealing with “mangkir” people in both my current and my previous organization. It is very frustrating you know... one day they are there, doing their jobs, and the next day they just gone. Especially right after the receive their salary. With their leaving from the organization, their peers are the ones who bare the consequences. Suddenly their jobs are doubled or they are asked to work over time. The other part of the organization which also will be troubled as much is HRD. Yup... thats my position... Within a day difference, people will start complaining about how they need more staff, and they will demand us to find the replacement as soon as possible.

One of the experience I have is with the leader of the security officers. It happened that we want to promote a leader for the Security Team, in order to ease the communication between management and the Team. As an HRD member, I then started look for a suitable candidates. After a while, we found a good candidate, who previously worked for one of the major Department Stores in Surabaya. He worked there for 9 years and his last position there is KaSie (notes: In the Security Structure, usually some Security Officers are led by KaRu [group leader] and for several KaRu there will be KaSie [Section Leader]). We were negotiating with him about salary, job descriptions, and other related matter. In short, we agreed the employment contract. I was happy and expected some changes (the good ones) from him. However..... after 3 weeks.... he came to me and said “Sorry, I can't work here anymore”....and.....thats it.
End of story... no explanation, no nothing....

That case is still better compared to other worse cases I experience. Some employees don't even say a word before they left... annoying.... For me, if you don't want to work here, its OK, but... at least tell us what the problem is, so that we can fix it, find some solutions, or avoid doing the same mistakes next time.

There are several reasons why people “mangkir”. Firstly, they found a better job. Better here often means higher salary. The argument is always about how they need more money for their family, bla bla bla... No offense! I also need money for my family, but it doesn't mean that we are allowed to trouble our colleagues with our “mangkir” decision. Secondly, they are of assertiveness. Assertive people are those who can express their feeling and thinking without any difficulties. Assertiveness allows people to give inputs, discuss problems, and renegotiate their employment contracts. On the other hand, people with minimum assertiveness often feel to scared to even talk with their supervisor. As a result ---> “mangkir”.
Another classic reason is a dispute, either with the supervisor or the peer. By “mangkir”, some people think they can avoid some conflicts. In fact, by doing so, they are triggering a bigger conflict with alot more people or even with the whole organization.

So... Lesson I learned: do not “mangkir” for whatever reason you may have.
Resolve any problems with open minded and assertiveness.

do to others what you want others do to you

Kamis, 08 Januari 2009

My first posting

Rite... after few years I finally just created my blog (hurray!!!).... now what? Any clues anyone?
Maybe I'll start with an introduction...

The name is Erwin Kristianto Julistiono... please call me win (I luv to be a "win"ner, even though sometimes life is not about winning or losing)...
Status? Married, 1 wife (jcmonika.blogspot.com), 1 son (greatest grace I receive from my DADDY)...
Status? Born as an Indonesian, born again as a Christian
Status? HRD of an Education Foundation in Surabaya, Indonesia
Status? Game lovers.... especially MTG Trading Card games and RPG Computer games
Check my profiles to learn a glimpse of my character.

Now... the purpose...
The blog made for sharing... or maybe just writing...
sharing what I thought to anyone who cares... writing what my hands want to write...
Anybody who cares to share back to me... please do so through some comments... :)

So... enjoy and never stop learning!